It shouldn't be affecting me this much, but it is. Sometimes when I take a step back and look at myself, I realise how obvious it all seems. My heart hardly strays from my sleeve. But it's been too long. I've forgotten how this feels, how easy it is to fall. I feel sick every week, knowing there's gonna be five days without.......

I thought You were calling me for something else, reserving me for Your own purpose. Now I'm filled with doubt. Yet in that doubt I find the faith necessary to keep trusting and hoping in You, in Your Will. Where will You take me? My head says away from this place, my heart says towards her, ever steadily towards her.

Fear prevents growth. But what exactly am I afraid of? There're too many things...

Grow a pair, fool. Time to grow up.